This blog is typically about all things Agile, but I am taking a slight detour on this post in anticipation of my very first child’s birth.  Gwendolyn Reece Gaiennie is due to be born on October 7, 2010 and I wanted to share with her future self some things I have learned as I myself grew into adulthood.  And if you think that this has nothing to do with business, then you might need to read this yourself.

Hi Beautiful,

I may not always be there for you, in fact, no one will.  Sad, I know, but you already know this.  But you will always be with you, and because I know you are an intelligent young lady, I wanted to share with you some of the things that I have learned, have been taught, or have picked up along the way.  Take these with you as you travel your path through life and look for bits of wisdom you can add so that someday you might also take the opportunity to pass along what you have learned to your own children.

Lead your life based on your values. By the time you read this you can trust that your values are there, you just may not know what they are yet.  That’s ok, so long as you place importance in identifying them as you venture into adulthood. Search for them, be relentless.  Know what you will stand for, and invest your spirit in knowing what you will not stand for.  Never seek to please another person in a quest to satisfy their values, for when you do, you will likely do so while sacrificing your own.  It took your father too may years to realize that a life lived based on anything other than your values is one spent in a futile attempt to gain acceptance from another person in an effort to validate yourself.  You don’t need to do this, it is momentarily satisfying and ultimately vacuous.  You matter, because you are you.

All existing means to your desired end are wrong. Another person’s path is not yours.  And only your path is right.  For you.  Cherish your originality.  Too much stock is put into fitting in, but the truly great ones among us seek to standup in the current, they choose to stand rather than simply float along with the drift.  I know the pressures to be accepted can be overwhelming, but never believe that simply doing what others do is the ultimate value to be had.  What do you truly seek in life Gwen?  It is a big question, but one worth asking.  And asking again.  I allowed too many years to pass before realizing that there is more to life than what can be bought with money.  Find what you seek and be open that what you want may not be easy or even immediately possible, but don’t allow that to sap you of energy.  This is the only life you get, spend it wisely.

There are no shortcuts in life. I wish this weren’t the case, but it is.  It just is.  The truly amazing things to be had on this earth are gained through hard work, driven by experiences, checkered with failures, but ultimately realized through perseverance.  There will be those that try to sell you the easy way out of your problems or the quick path to your goals, and they will be persuasive, but they will be selling you something that simply doesn’t exist.  Life is not meant to only provide enjoyable experiences, but also suffering, hardships, and pain as well.  But this is no mistake, it is by design.  A beautiful design.  These challenging experiences need to be valued as highly as your achievements, for without these you would not appreciate the magnificence of your triumphs.  Always remember that you cannot appreciate the mountains if you never experience the valleys.

Never compare your inside with somebody else’s outside. As you grow up, you will be bombarded with the message that your value is contingent upon your compliance with another’s definition of acceptable.  I can only beg of you to not fall for this, it only ends in pain, anguish, and a feeling of being inadequate.  You are amazing, so long as you live your life based on the values that you define.  Nothing is so important as knowing which principles are worth standing for.

Avoid the boring people. Those people that like to play it safe have nothing to offer you, don’t waste your time trying to get them to feel your passion.  These folks value complacency and sameness as a means for security but in exchange must sacrifice the possibility of something better.  The possibility.  What beautiful words!  In fact, new rule, if you ever find someone that is perpetually afraid to do something different simply for the fact that it is different, share your view that there is beauty in risk, but don’t dwell on it.  If they can’t see it, move on.  Quickly.

Never do anything solely on the assumption that you will be rewarded for it. Your dad is still trying to learn this very valuable lesson.  When we act only motivated by the reward given by another, we give away all of our creative power to someone else.  Do what you believe is right.  And remember, the more talented, the more gifted, the more self-motivated a person is, the less they need the props from someone else.  You may be your biggest critic, but remember that you also must be your biggest cheerleader.   You will never need someone else to complete you.  You are already whole.

The most important lesson I could ever leave for you would be this…

You are responsible for your own experience. Gwen, I have seen too many people waste years believing that someone else is responsible for their happiness.  That someone else is responsible for causing their struggle.  These people have missed out on the opportunity to experience the beauty, and the challenge, of life.  All of the power on this earth exists in you at this very moment and it is unlocked by a simple decision.  The decision to take responsibility for your experience of life, for you.  Others might seem to upset you in life, but as you experience this pain realize that this is your decision.  No one can hurt you without your permission.  No one can ruin your day without your permission.  No one can make you happy without your permission.  I am not asking you to live your life without emotion, in fact quite the opposite; live your life through your emotional experience, but never allow emotion to have absolute meaning without you getting a chance to contribute to the internal discussion.  Never, ever give up this right to create the association of an emotion with a meaning that supports you and your values.  This is a powerful gift that the vast majority of people you will have in your life will have chosen to relinquish.   You are responsible for your own experience. This understanding is the greatest gift I could ever leave to another person, I hope you cherish it as much as I do.

There are many more things I am sure I will leave you, but these are good pillars on which to build a values-based approach to life.  And although you are not here yet, I look forward to all of the wonderful life lessons you will be teaching me.  I love you Gwen.  Always.  -Dad.

Enjoy the highlights!

Today started with another GREAT breakfast, which included the very popular parfait bar (see pictures below).  During breakfast I was joined by none other than Tom Poppendieck.  I waited for him to finish eating then politely asked if I could take a picture with him, and he graciously agreed.

Then it was onto the ballroom for the keynote address.  After some brief announcements (1400 participants representing 38 countries!!), Dave Thomas started his presentation. I took some notes, in the form of tweets from the Keynote, even though I was at first hesitant because of his slide forbidding any live tweeting due to copyright…but I was soon set straight that this was just a joke.  Here are some of the tweeted highlights from the keynote:

“Practices first, not about brands of methods. ”

“If you can’t do it with a card, you will do it worse with fancy tools.”

“If we are saying developers need to be enlightened, what about product owners?”

“Hire them young, they don’t know it can’t be done.”

“Lean is so simply, but it requires the ability to think, which makes it hard.”

“We do Kanban, we do scrum, we do XP, we’re all DUMB!” Haha, I liked this chant.

“Founders have magic powers. We need to nourish the leaders of tomorrow. Always seek to replace yourself.”

Here are some pics from the keynote address:

A quick scan of the ballroom.  It was packed!  Standing room only!

The rest of the day was filled with great presentations, including a hosted lunch where I shared a round table with David Hussman of Devjam.  The extended lunch was filled with great, thought provoking conversation, definitely worth the time.  I often find that most of the value of these types of conferences are in the connections you make and the conversations that happen outside of presentations.

For the remainder of the afternoon I popped in and out of several sessions, and had my regular conference anxiety of sitting in one session too long for fear of missing something else.  Definitely something I have to work on.  Now I look forward to heading to a Shipwreck party being sponsored by my good friends at VersionOne.

I plan on taking some video and pictures, so check back tomorrow to see highlights from tonight’s festivities.

Bill Gaiennie
@AgileAdvisor

Getting ready for the keynote, I snapped some pictures using my camera sky rig.  If you are not here, this is what it is looking like this morning…

Me snapping pictures!

20 minutes til keynote, and already filing up fast.

The Parfait line at breakfast was packed!

The rest of breakfast was awesome.  Those burritos rocked!!

More shots of the room.

Get here quick.  Between the time I took these photos until now, it is now almost completely full!
(At least at my table.  Come by, say hi, get your picture taken:)

Twitter: @AgileAdvisor

Ok, one last post before I call it a night, and this is a video post.  This is just a quick video of me walking the ice breaker floor with some fun camera tricks.  You may see some familiar faces…enjoy!!  (2:30)

Twitter: @AgileAdvisor

Looks like Day One is now officially in the books, at least as far as the sessions go.  I am writing this before the mixer at 7:00p, but thought I would log this recap before heading out for the night…otherwise I would likely not get it done at all.

Breakfast started the day, with a really nice spread, I wish I had a picture to show you, but believe me, it was great.  I got caught up with some old friends, met some new ones, and headed out to my first session “Becoming Agile in an Imperfect World.”  I was excited about the talk, but then soon realized that it was aimed primarily at folks new to Agile.  I was contemplating scooting to a new session when the fire alarm in the room went off, followed by an announcement stating we would have to evacuate the space and head outside.  So much for our session.  I joked as we headed out that it must have been those waterfall guys trying to throw a wrench in our conference.

Here is a short video of half the conference making their way outside:

After we all went back inside, the session picked up steam and stayed for the duration.  We ended up doing some team exercises, and it must have been the trainer/facilitator in me that had me on my feet with a marker in my hand before anyone could ask.

The second half of the day was great as well.  I spent a few hours in Jean Tabaka’s session “The Agile Organization: Apply Visioning and Learning Models.”  This session really hit home because of how much I relate to the Peter Senge type of materials about systems, learning organizations, and mental models.  So much about what I like to present within Agile is aligned with this aspect of the transition, the people factor.

That session took us through the end of the day, and here I am back in my room getting ready for the mixer and dinner with a friend.  I look forward to making more connections this week, so please find me if you happen to find this post.

Some things I wish they would improve on:

- Something other than coffee to drink!  At lunch, there was great food, but nothing to drink other than coffee, not even water!  I think this is a huge miss.

- Something to drink during the breaks.  The break snacks are great, but again, nothing to drink.  I think that if you pay $2,000 for a conference, they should offer something to drink.

That is about it.  Remember to follow me on Twitter for all the intraday jabbering!  @AgileAdvisor

Southern Fried Agile was a GREAT success.  We had a great turn-out for a first annual event and the caliber of speakers was topnotch.  All of the presentations made during the conference are available for download on SlideShare.net (click link to visit).

My presentation can also be found there, titled “All You Need To Know Is That It’s Possible.”  My presentation addresses many of the excuses I have heard teams make over the years as to why Agile could not work for them.  Over time I came to find that most of these teams simply used this type of excuse to relieve themselves of the responsibility of having to try to make Agile work, a responsibility they would certain shoulder, but only if they allowed themselves to believe that the Agile approach might be able to offer the enormous gains that are touted.  These same teams spend great deals of energy in convincing themselves to believe that it is simply not possible for Agile (or seemingly any better approach) to work with their unique, product, team, culture, organization, etc.  They would tell me that they are just too different.  This presentation seeks to make the case that it is often the limiting beliefs held by people that keep them from being able to succeed with Agile.

Hopefully I will see some of you at Agile2010 in Orlando in a couple of weeks, I will be tweeting non-stop for those of you that cannot make it.  Follow me at @AgileAdvisor.

The Agile Carolinas Leadership Team is putting together a local conference to present and discuss all things Agile.  Because I now live in Charlotte, you know that I will be there.  Not only I will be attending, but I will also be presenting a discussion in the “Learning Agile” track of presentations.  I know that most of you that may stumble upon this blog don’t live in the area, but in case that you do, please register and plan on being there, it is going to immensely valuable for the attendees.

Here are some of the details:

Website (and Registration): http://www.southernfriedagile.com

When: Friday, July 23, 2010. 8:30a – 4:30p

Where: The Crowne Plaza Charlotte Hotel. 201 S. McDowell Street, Charlotte, NC 280204

How Much: $49 (super cheap!!)

Twitter Hashtag: #sfa2010

Want more information: Go to the website for a list of sponsors, speakers, and the sessions currently scheduled.

See you there!!